i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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