this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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