we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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