I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
