just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize