im having a threesome with these popsicles
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
