i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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