My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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