it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
