You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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