who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
