Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
