I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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