I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
