guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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