So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
