PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
