I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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