I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
