no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
