ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
