Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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