i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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