i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
