The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
