oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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