i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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