You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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