I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
