You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
