Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
