You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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