he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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