i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bring money and cleavage
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
