oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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