You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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