i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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