You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize