Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
