yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
