do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
