Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
