In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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