she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
