That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
