census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
