sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
