I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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