If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
