I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
