have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
