Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
