Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
