Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
