I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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