can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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