don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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