this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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