Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
