anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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