We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
